Food for Thought

"Academic science is a pie-eating contest, in which the prize is............more pie."

(This is not an AA original, but I don't know where it comes from. It rings true though, and if anyone can point me toward the original, I'd like to credit properly.)

Guest bloggin'

I've got a post at Neurotic Physiology today on how to make a retina in a dish - please go check it out. Thanks to Scicurious for hosting!

Sorry, it's not my day to watch them.

It seems that I am often mistaken for some kind of administrative or professional assistant around here. Thankfully, not by my colleagues, but often by strangers.

You see, I work with my office door open. Mostly because I share the office with other people and it's just easier that way. On that office door is my name and title, "Dr. AA, Ph.D." (yeah, I double-barreled that thing, bitches. Fat lotta good it does, too.)

Somehow, for some reason, strangers feel free to wander in while I'm working and make requests such as:

"Do you have a stapler I can borrow?"

"Hi, I'm in Dr. X's class and I need to turn in an assignment but he's not in his office. Can I leave it with you?"

"Um, hi? Can I get some white-out?"

"Do you know where Dr. Y's office is?"

"Um, do you have a copy code for the departmental copy machine?"

"I was supposed to have an appointment with Dr. W 15 minutes ago, but I'm late, and he's not there anymore. Can you tell him I stopped by?"

The answer to all of these queries is "no". (Sometimes when I'm feeling generous I will lend a stapler, but really?)

Do I look like I am the professional assistant to Drs. X, Y, and W? I don't even know Dr. W! (And I'm pretty sure Dr. X is on a different floor. Possibly a different building.)

My favorite was today. I was writing, with my headphones on, and not only did this person neglect to knock on the door (granted, it was open) before entering, but they stood there clearing their throat not-so-politely until I interrupted my work to say, "Yes?"

"Hi, do you know where Nancy is?"

"I don't know anyone who goes by Nancy."

"Oh, she's a professor - her office is down the hall?"

"I don't know her."

"You know, Nancy..Dr., um...I'm not really sure how to pronounce her last name..."

"As I just said, I don't know her."

"Oh, well, do you know where she might be?"

(WTF, really? I told you several times that I don't know her, and yet you think I keep track of her whereabouts?)

"If she is not in her office then I have no better idea of where she might be than you do."

This shit happens at least once a week. And after taking a quick poll, never to the male grad students in my office or those in the offices down the hall. Undergrads, newsflash: if you see a woman working at a desk, do not assume that she is by default the assistant to all the other profs in the building. It is not her day to watch them.

Jesus H. Christ on a popsicle stick, where did the day go?

It's 4:20 here and only about half my to-do list has been slayed. Ugh. How did this happen?

Also, I have empirically determined that a new Pandora station improves productivity by 32% +/- 2. Which, unfortunately, is still insufficient gain to kill the mountain of stuff that requires attention before tomorrow.