Albatross #1 is off my neck! And I didn't have to kill anyone to make that happen. Huzzah! Despite attempts to buzzkill in the comments, I am unafeared of the torture of reviewers. This is sort of a weird manuscript/submission circumstance which I think/hope will circumvent a lot of reviewer quibbling. Fingers crossed on that.
Now for Albatross #2, which I thought was ready to go, but now GrAdvisor says it's way too long and this will piss off the reviewers. Last draft was "too short". I am feeling like this is very subjective, which is the nature of the review and editing process, I am well aware. However, some objective criteria would be much more helpful and result in a more expedient submission of the fracking thing.