I would totally give to the Obama 2012 campaign if this happened:

Speak the fuck up, Mr. President!

Food for Thought

"Academic science is a pie-eating contest, in which the prize is............more pie."

(This is not an AA original, but I don't know where it comes from. It rings true though, and if anyone can point me toward the original, I'd like to credit properly.)

Guest bloggin'

I've got a post at Neurotic Physiology today on how to make a retina in a dish - please go check it out. Thanks to Scicurious for hosting!

Sorry, it's not my day to watch them.

It seems that I am often mistaken for some kind of administrative or professional assistant around here. Thankfully, not by my colleagues, but often by strangers.

You see, I work with my office door open. Mostly because I share the office with other people and it's just easier that way. On that office door is my name and title, "Dr. AA, Ph.D." (yeah, I double-barreled that thing, bitches. Fat lotta good it does, too.)

Somehow, for some reason, strangers feel free to wander in while I'm working and make requests such as:

"Do you have a stapler I can borrow?"

"Hi, I'm in Dr. X's class and I need to turn in an assignment but he's not in his office. Can I leave it with you?"

"Um, hi? Can I get some white-out?"

"Do you know where Dr. Y's office is?"

"Um, do you have a copy code for the departmental copy machine?"

"I was supposed to have an appointment with Dr. W 15 minutes ago, but I'm late, and he's not there anymore. Can you tell him I stopped by?"

The answer to all of these queries is "no". (Sometimes when I'm feeling generous I will lend a stapler, but really?)

Do I look like I am the professional assistant to Drs. X, Y, and W? I don't even know Dr. W! (And I'm pretty sure Dr. X is on a different floor. Possibly a different building.)

My favorite was today. I was writing, with my headphones on, and not only did this person neglect to knock on the door (granted, it was open) before entering, but they stood there clearing their throat not-so-politely until I interrupted my work to say, "Yes?"

"Hi, do you know where Nancy is?"

"I don't know anyone who goes by Nancy."

"Oh, she's a professor - her office is down the hall?"

"I don't know her."

"You know, Nancy..Dr., um...I'm not really sure how to pronounce her last name..."

"As I just said, I don't know her."

"Oh, well, do you know where she might be?"

(WTF, really? I told you several times that I don't know her, and yet you think I keep track of her whereabouts?)

"If she is not in her office then I have no better idea of where she might be than you do."

This shit happens at least once a week. And after taking a quick poll, never to the male grad students in my office or those in the offices down the hall. Undergrads, newsflash: if you see a woman working at a desk, do not assume that she is by default the assistant to all the other profs in the building. It is not her day to watch them.

Jesus H. Christ on a popsicle stick, where did the day go?

It's 4:20 here and only about half my to-do list has been slayed. Ugh. How did this happen?

Also, I have empirically determined that a new Pandora station improves productivity by 32% +/- 2. Which, unfortunately, is still insufficient gain to kill the mountain of stuff that requires attention before tomorrow.

An Open Letter

Dear Reviewer #2,

You do realize don't you, that you are not in fact Reviewer #3, right? There are only TWO reviewers on this manuscript, thereby absolving you of any obligation to fulfill that detestable role. So, wherefore the vitriol? I mean seriously, I addressed all your points from the first round, and now in this second round you're saying that I failed to demonstrate something that you praised the everliving fuck out of on the first submission. I'm confused. Are you off your meds?

Also, this one thing that you have been stuck on since the first revision - I've done everything you said I should do to placate your concerns on that matter in the resubmission. You still don't like it. I'm beginning to think that you're just being cranky and obtuse. We've talked about this - if you want me to show that something is NOT expressed, you're going to have to be happy with a negative result and a fuckton of controls to show that this result is valid. There is NO WAY I can show you a positive detection of a gene product that isn't there. You do understand how such a request defies the rules of logic, right?

I'm getting a little tired of all this. Please stop fucking with me.

KTHX